i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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