my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
