Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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