i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
