Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you told grandpa to call you daddy
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
