I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
