I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
