Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
