Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
