I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He kissed a someone with a penis
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
