So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
