there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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