Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
