did you get engaged???
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
