I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
