we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
