She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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