I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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