you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
