thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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