There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
