im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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