I'm laying in your front yard are you home
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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