So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
