She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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