Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
