Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My life is pants optional.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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