What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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