Yo dont text me then not text me
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
