After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
The adults are the big ones right?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
