She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
