i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
