I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
