My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
