Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Small penises have feelings too.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
