oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
