If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
