I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it glows. i had to have it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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