Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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