I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
