I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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