I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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