There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
