I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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