I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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