just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
