i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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