Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I've blown a few things in my day
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
