everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
