Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
