I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
