so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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